


I Won't Back Down

by WatchingOne



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Hell, M/M, So so sorry, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 12:59:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4392872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchingOne/pseuds/WatchingOne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel needs to rescue Dean from Hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Back Down

**Author's Note:**

> They made me write this. Bah. Sigh. Dammit.

#  **I Won't Back Down**

        Leading up to the Gates of Hell there is an endless, arid, blasted wasteland. Very few souls wander there. Most new arrivals to Hell are usually found immediately and dragged, screaming, begging, crying, through the Gates and inside. There are a few exceptions - souls that have managed to escape capture. They wander aimlessly in the vast waste, a cruel punishment where the only escape is to enter the Gates and gain access to Hell.

Often those that find the Gates choose the wasteland instead, turning away from the heart of Hell. No one can say that they were not the wiser to do so.

A lone figure strode across that cracked and burnt earth. He had no intention of turning around.

A lone figure approached the Gates of Hell with only one purpose.

He was an Angel named Castiel. A soldier of God. But he was on no mission for God.

He intended to smash through those Gates. He intended to walk into the heart of Hell and save someone being held there.

Someone that he could never abandon.  
  


 

_The two frail humans stood in the middle of the hanger, emptying their weapons into his vessel, to, of course, no effect._

_Castiel explained to them that he was the one that had raised Dean from Perdition._

_Dean responded by plunging a Demon-Blade into his heart._

_Castiel remembered the chaotic clash of fear, rage and wonder rushing out of Dean in waves. He remembered the disbelief when Dean had actually realized that Castiel was telling the truth. Dean’s lifetime of pain was thrown into turmoil- a lifetime in which all of the faith he had managed to hold onto had never been rewarded, only proved worthless. Faith in his father. Faith in his family. Faith that there was something good in the world for him. That shattering of belief had hit Castiel like a avalanche. He remembered being buffeted by it, but in the end, there was something in Dean that he was able to anchor to. There was a small hope left there that there was actually something to believe in. Castiel clung to it like he was drowning, the storm of human emotions strange and unfamiliar to him. He remembered being puzzled._

_What had happened to Dean to leave him this way? He had asked him why he thought that he didn't deserve to be saved. That spark of hope in Dean had flared then like the sun. It was in that moment, Castiel realized, that Dean was more than a mission. He was something beautiful. He was instantly selfish, instantly desperate to understand._

_Maybe it was also in that moment that he had truly fallen from Heaven's grace._  
  


 

Just a few hours ago, the Demons had sprung their trap. Their only goal and purpose had been simple revenge. It was a group of Demons that had been personally exorcised by the Winchester brothers, looking for payback. They had captured Dean and dragged him through a portal into Hell, mocking and laughing about the tortures they were going to inflict on him. Castiel and Sam were left staring helplessly at the smoldering hole in the floor. It took Castiel less than a second to decide what to do next.

He had appeared directly on the last plain of Hell before the Gates, wondering what they had already done to Dean. Castiel shook his head. Dean had already suffered this - the tortures of Hell. How much more, how many more times would he have to endure it? He set his jaw and lowered his gaze at the entrance as the Gates loomed closer and closer.

A watchman on one of the toothed and barbed towers called down to him.

“What in Lucifer's name...? What are you doing there Angel? Attacking Hell all by yourself?”

There was a rumble of activity as other Demons rose from their posts to see what was going on. There was a general rumbling and cackle of laughter from a few as they regarded the lone Angel standing there defiantly, glaring purposely up at the Gates.

“Who are you, Angel? For your sake, I hope you're Michael himself, or this is going to be the most painful suicide mission ever attempted”, hissed one of the Demons from above.

Castiel stared up defiantly. The air itself around the Gates twisted and writhed with fumes, heat, and pure evil. He didn't blink back the foul and stinging air. He answered directly. Truthfully.

“My name is Castiel. You are holding a friend of mine captive behind that Gate. Believe me when I tell you, things would be far easier for you if you stayed out of my way.”

This was answered by a chorus of demonic laughter and calls of defiance.

“Listen up, you hopped-up little harp strummer, fly home right now or we're gonna tear you apart,” came a booming Demon's voice. The Master of the Watch, Castiel guessed. He smiled.

Perfect.

In an action not visible by any eye, human nor demon, Castiel unfolded his wings and flew at the voice's source. In a swift motion, he drew his Angel's blade across the throat of the burly Demon, savoring the look of utter shock on the bastard's face. As the Demon began to slump, Castiel grabbed at his belt and removed a snarled ring of keys. The other Demons in the room around him were staring with slack jaws, still in total shock. Castiel smiled at them, and flew away instantly.

He stood before one of several entrances built into the Gate and began trying different keys on the ring.

  
  


_He unlocked the smooth glass doors of the Gas N' Sip, inexplicably proud at being entrusted with the keys to so much valuable merchandise. The feeling of newness with the job was still not gone. He still made a mental checklist of all of the tasks that he had to do every morning. It was important, he kept telling himself. It was his first step in a new life. A mortal life._

_ So, when Dean showed up out of the blue rebuking him for 'nuking Taquitos', he was more than a little angry.  _

_ Still, just by showing up, Dean had managed to touch a piece of him that he had been denying. He had felt helpless that his Grace had been taken, and he had been reduced to being a bystander. He had wanted back in the fight. And despite the new people that were in his life, none of them were Dean. _

_He had sorely missed him._

  
  


The door opened and a wave of Demons came rushing towards him. Castiel's blade flashed to all sides furiously as they grabbed and clawed at him, trying to hold him down. He gave a powerful beat of his wings and Demons were flung back against the blood-slicked walls. He steadied himself and rushed forward, flinging still more of them to the side. It was like trying to swim against a powerful current, there were just so many of them. With a roar of defiance, Castiel bulled forward, Demon claws grasping at him, tearing at his skin, his face, his wings, but finally, he broke through the wall of Demons and ran into the heart of Hell, the pursuit falling further and further behind. When he had covered enough distance, he stood, breathing hard and looked around at the blasted buildings and palaces in the center of Hell, while black ash fell from the sky like leaves.

  
  


_Castiel stood, unseen, and watched as Dean raked another small pile of leaves together and wiped his forehead. He couldn't say how many times he had watched him do this, or how many hours he had stood there, unobserved. He grimaced at himself as a wave of shame washed over him. He should ask him. But Dean has given so much. Raphael would likely destroy him. He couldn't ask him for help. Better this way. Better to leave Dean here- at peace._   
  


 

Castiel focused on one of the buildings that looked like a prison. It was only one of many, but it stood out from the others. It looked somehow....crueler. That was definitely where they had taken him, he decided. He gripped his blade and headed in that direction. 

There were a few Demon guards at the entrance to the building that Castiel quickly dealt with. He moved inside and began heading towards where he judged the prison's center to be. He also took every descending staircase that he could find. They would be keeping him down somewhere deep. 

The few torturer Demons and guards that he encountered were not an obstacle. But the wounds he had suffered fighting through the Gate proved to be. There was a steady stream of blood and traces of blue Grace that flowed from a gash in his neck that worried him. The vessel wouldn't die, of course, but if the wound had reached deep enough to touch his Grace....

He pushed that thought aside, concentrating on finding his way deeper and deeper through the labyrinth of dark passages. Finally, he passed by a door that made him hesitate. He closed his eyes, taking in every smell, every sensation, horrible or otherwise, as only an Angel could do. He opened his eyes and turned slowly towards the door. This was the one. Dean was being held inside.

He nudged it open and saw him hanging there from large metal hooks piercing his flesh. Castiel grunted. If nothing else, Demons were consistent. They had him trussed up like this the first time he had rescued Dean from Hell. He started into the room and Dean looked up.

“Cas...?” he grunted weakly. Castiel stared back.

  
  


_Dean turned around in Bobby's cell, anger and frustration working through his disarming smile. He looked Castiel up and down with a mixture of curiosity and open contempt._

_“Not for nothing, Cas, but the last time somebody looked at me like that- I got laid,” Dean quipped sarcastically. Castiel continued to stare. He felt a strange warmth come over him when Dean had said that. He knew damned well that he wasn't serious, but somehow the idea....._  
  


 

Castiel moved quickly over to Dean and winced as he worked the hooks out. Dean moaned. When he was finally free he collapsed into Castiel's arms. Castiel placed two fingers on Dean's forehead and healed what he could. Dean shuddered. He lifted his head slowly and looked up at Castiel. He smiled.

“What took you so long?”, he asked weakly.

Castiel frowned. “I'm....really very sorry Dean, I came straight here....”

Dean shook his head. “Cas, I wasn't being serious. C'mon man.” He looked around the room. “So, what's the plan, Cas?”

Castiel nodded. “Well, we get back to the Gates. Once we're past them, we use this.” He pulled a talisman on a leather strap out from a pocket in his trenchcoat. “It will take us out of here.”

Dean grunted. “Good plan. Let's do it.”

Castiel frowned. “Do what?”

Dean smiled.

  
  


_“Cas, don't ever change,” Dean said, placing his hand on his shoulder. Castiel's brow furrowed. He had been serious. They had an appointment. It was blind luck that his timing had been so perfect and he had rescued Dean from Zachariah. He looked back at Dean, who was still smiling at him. He knew that he would do his best never to change._

 

 

They moved quickly out of the building and moved across the plains of Hell back towards the Gates. Castiel gripped the talisman tightly in his left palm and his Angel's blade in his right. Then he saw the wall of Demons waiting there for them and slowed.

“Dean....”, he said quietly, stopping. Dean stopped as well, scanning the Gates. He gave a low whistle.

“Any idea how we're getting through that?” Dean asked, pointing at the thousands of Demons.

Castiel's mouth was slightly open. He hadn't actually thought they'd have to fight through again. He was too weak from his previous injuries to just fly them through. He had counted on the Demons searching throughout Hell for them, not massing and waiting for them to come back to the Gates. He wasn't good at planning. That was something that Dean was....

“Cas?!”, Dean shouted, breaking Castiel out of his thoughts. “Please tell me you got another way out of here.” 

Castiel looked at Dean pleadingly. “No,” he answered, finally. His gaze grew determined. “But I am going to get you out of here, regardless.”

He strode straight ahead towards the wall of Demons, shoving the talisman into Dean's hands as he walked forward, bringing his Angel blade up to his chest, his teeth gritted.

“Dean, stay behind me!”, he yelled, the roar of defiance from the Demons becoming deafening.

“Are you frikkin’ kidding me, Cas? I am  _not_ hiding behind you!,” Dean shouted back. “We both go down swinging here!”

Cas turned halfway around towards Dean, shaking his head. “No, Dean,” he said as gently as possible. “There’s no way to get you out of here unharmed unless I clear a path for you. If you start to engage them….”

“To hell with that Cas!”; Dean shouted. “There is no frikkin’ way that’s happening!”

“Dean!”, Cas yelled in return, furious. “Why don’t you ever do what I ask you to do?! Can’t you see that this is the only way?! You have to listen to me! You’ll die if you don’t, you stubborn son-of-a-….”  
  


 

_Dean stood dumbfounded as Castiel turned from the street preacher and grabbed him by his shirt. grabbing him roughly and slamming him against the wall._

_“I rebelled for this??!!”, he screamed, frustration and rage coursing through him like fire. His fist flew into Dean’s face, but he couldn’t focus….what was enraging him so much?_

  
  


The first Demons had reached them in a wave, and Castiel’s fists pounded against one after the other, his blade ripping apart everything it reached. He couldn’t tell what Dean was doing behind him, he only prayed that he wasn’t being as stubborn as he usually was. His fist crashed into the skull of another Demon, sending it flying….

  
  


_ “Just so you could surrender to them?!”, Castiel spit out the words like venom. His fists crashed into Dean over and over. He couldn’t stop. _

_“Cas, please….” Dean pleaded through bleeding lips…._

  
  


“Cas, look out!”, Dean shouted from somewhere behind him as a wave of Demons drove into him, sweeping him away. Castiel struggled against them, shoving them away, trying desperately to reach Dean…..

  
  


“ _I gave up everything for you! And this is what you give to me?!”, Castiel grunted, holding Dean up against the wall, his smashed face inches from his own. His mind raced. What was he doing? Why was he trying to destroy Dean?_

 

 

Castiel had somehow reached the Gates. They Demons bit and clawed and ripped at him. His arms were pinned. He tried to swing his blade, but to no avail. He managed to look up, and with satisfaction, saw that he had actually managed to clear a path through to a door for Dean. He looked back as Dean stumbled towards him.

“Cas, no, Cas…” he panted, “I’m coming. I’m coming….hang in there…..”

Castiel met Dean’s eyes and shook his head no, looking towards the open door, and then behind Dean. Dean followed his gaze. Another wave of Demons was bearing down on them both. In another few seconds, they would be engulfed. Dean looked back in horror at Castiel, who only nodded, a slight smile coming onto his face.

Dean’s eyes widened as the realization hit him. Castiel watched in horror as he saw Dean’s face shift to grim determination. Dean lowered his gaze, clenched his jaw, and hurled straight towards the Demons swarming over Castiel.

  
  


_“Do it,” Dean said defiantly. He waited for Castiel to deliver a final blow. Castiel felt his anger unwinding, the unyielding force of it fading quickly. What was he doing? His fist uncurled…._

  
  


….his fist uncurled, and his Angel’s blade fell to the ground. Dean was shouting something, but it was lost to Castiel. Blood was rushing through his head and ears as the Demons ripped at him. Dean had reached the fight, grabbing at Demons and shoving them aside, trying to reach Castiel. Castiel reached out his arm….

  
  


_….he reached out his arm and touched Dean gently on the shoulder. Dean’s broken form slumped to the ground in the alleyway. Castiel let out a deep breath. He shook in terror. The emotions that had flooded through him had almost led him to kill Dean. He had no idea where it had come from. It was more than anger. More than frustration. He felt more than betrayed. His very core had been shaken. He regarded this frail human again, just like he had when he had first met him. What was it that made him feel like this?_

  
  


….Castiel’s arm came up and grabbed Dean by the shirt. With one last effort, he flung Dean through the open door. Dean landed in a pile of dust. The talisman in his hand began to glow. Dean looked down at it and back up at Castiel, his face contorted in disbelief and horror.

“No, Cas….”, he whispered. He reached out his hand desperately towards Castiel as one of the Demons picked up the fallen Angel’s blade from the ground.

  
  


_“I need you….”, Dean whispered in the darkened crypt. “I need you.” To Castiel, the voice came from far away, but seemed to keep getting louder and louder. Naomi’s hold on him was fading. Dean had broken through._

_ Dean had saved him. _

  
  


“I need you….” Dean croaked, his outreached hand starting to fall. His body began to fade as the talisman started to transport him away.

“Dean, I….” Castiel whispered, his eyes locking on Dean’s fading form, locking onto Dean’s eyes.

Castiel’s eyes closed as the Angel blade pierced his chest. His Grace flowed out in a white stream. The image of Dean’s eyes was burning in his mind as he fell, a smile on his face.

 He had saved Dean.

  
  


A lone figure lay upon the cracked and burnt earth before the Gates of Hell. The Demons had cast the body out. Perhaps they could no longer bear to look at it. The look of serenity and love had never faded from his face.

When the human returned and gathered the body up in his arms shortly later, no Demon challenged him. The look of utter defiance on his face was enough to frighten Lucifer himself.

Dean never spoke during the Hunter’s funeral. He never looked at his brother Sam, who stood by his side. He just watched the flames consume Castiel’s body, clutching the talisman tightly that he had given him.

And wept.

  
  


 

  
  


  
  


  
  


 

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> I really...I don't know. Apologize for the pain? I can't. That's the thing with tragedy - it shows the love in such a vivid light. The contrast is so intense....
> 
> Besides, it's all Dean and Cas' fault. They've been screaming at me in my head for the last week to write this (that's not an excuse, I'm SERIOUS about that.)
> 
> Anyway, maybe relive any tears that this tragedy rips out, and realize that maybe at least half of them are because of the love that's shown here.
> 
> That's what I truly hope for, anyway.


End file.
